with Empty Bottles and Suitcases to be filled

Randomness:
Two more days left before entering 2010, many things are undone yet, uh ohh..
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I live my life with many little secrets.
I live my life with on coming limitations.
I live my life with unforgettable memories.
I live my life with uncountable complications.

Oh, give me a break will ya?
Just two days, I'll come back to you in 2010.

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圣诞节

Randomness:
Instant noodles are my best friends and enemies.
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大学放假，在家里虽然比较忙碌，却很充实。
提早回大学准备论文取样，可是又被senior放鸽子。
得等到开学前的一个礼拜才去，真是的，和其他活动与节目撞到正。 *无奈*
这段日子，心情还蛮平静的，什么事情都以平常心去看去做，轻松自在地很~~
这会不会叫做，暴风雨前的宁静啊。

圣诞节，要到了。可是…

才不期待！
今年的圣诞节，有点过于梦幻了。
难道，是我老了？（￣、￣＠）

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香蕉与青苹果

Randomness:
I enjoy driving very much. But don't drive me crazy.
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晚上和老妹聊天时，突然爆出了一个冷笑话。

香蕉人的来源自于不懂得中文的华人。
因为外黄内白。虽然是黄皮肤，可是就像洋人一样不懂中文。

那，青苹果……是什么人啊？
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The Incredible Hulk 绿巨人
( ￣ ▽￣)ﾉ tiga lapan betul~~~

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Sayonara

Randomness:
Departures, another life and death movie which highly recommended to watch.
And I love drinking hot milk with honey at night. =)
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Had an all day out and watched 2012 the movie with my sis today. I had prepared tissue papers for me to weep during the movie as it is a life and death movie that must be fulled with "I'm going to die, goodbye, and I love you" scenes.

It was satisfactory movie for me though. This disaster movie, with the epic scenes like massive destruction, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis and narrow escapes could make me grabbed my head and pulled my hair, but watching those people died in one sweep did made me felt emotional, those people could be me someday, if something like this could happened in the future.

There's a scene, where the meteorology monitor showed the tsunamis attack throughout the earth continents. When the tsunami covered up Malaysia, my sis and I even joked on it:

"Hey look! There goes Malaysia! We're dead already!"

Yeah, we're dead. I'm wondering if that time really happens two years ahead, where will I be that time?

Some will call their loved ones, say goodbyes and wait for sayonara;
Some that are lucky will be with their loved ones and wait for sayonara together;
Some will sayonara together with a bunch of strangers;
Some might have no time to wait and just sayonara instantly without realizing what's happening.

When I die, who will be the one I'll think of besides my family and close friends? Two days ago in the internet, I bumped into an old primary school classmate who asked me "Have you found someone that you will share your life with in the future?" This question cracked my heart, cause I haven't, and I didn't manage to. I'm not afraid of death, however at one point, I don't want to die alone, or die without having someone that I can think of. Thinking about this made me totally went silent all the way home after the movie.

But I guess I'll just let it be. When the time comes, we just have to go sayonara. There are a lot more 2012 fictions and apocalypse fiction coming up in the following years, I'll have to be prepare to be emotional again.

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Outstation

随意的：
经常无视于别人对我的误会，因为心很累，也懒得去理会。
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I had a confession to make, that is..I lied.

"I went to outstation for 2 weeks, just came back today." -> This is the lie I made up for 3 times within these 2 months in UKM. Hoho~

1st Lie: Application for Tukar Taraf - Credit (Pilihan Bebas) to Audit

I actually had cleared all my PB since last semester, but this semester I took another extra PB again in Japanese Level 3. I've planned to change my PB status from Kredit to Audit since the beginning as I knew I wouldn't score this time, especially in this hell busy semester. But because of my "business" and procrastination, I missed out the time for the pertukaran taraf application. Until after I sit for its mid-sem exam, which totally screwed up, I only hurried to PSSSA to take the application form to hand it out at Pusat Akademik. Through the whole process (I'll skipped the up's and down's and the conversations), I used the lie to 5 persons. Sorry to the Kak Salmi at PSSSA office, Setiausaha Kak Azizah, Pengerusi Pusat Prof Mazlan, Ketua Program Dr Sahibin and the angry dude at Pusat Akademik. X( Luckily the application was success.

2nd Lie: Application for Penginapan Kolej for Luar Semester

I need to apply for staying at UO during sem break for myself, and 2 coursemates (who will gonna stay in illegally). Because of my "business" and procrastination, again, I was passed the due-date for the application. So the story went just like the process from the above. Just this time, I only went through and lied to one person, Encik Yusoff, the office staff who usually in-charged of the kolej properties, and he is a gentle and friendly person. So it went smoothly and the lie worked. But I felt guilty.

3rd Lie: Late Return of Thesis at Pusat Sumber Bangunan Biologi FST

This happened in this afternoon actually. I was supposedly have to return the thesis I borrowed from Pusat Sumber BB, FST, on 14th of OCTOBER. Because of my "business" and procrastination again, I was almost a month late. So today, I only willingly to rush to the center to return the book. I needed to pay fine for RM13.50, 50 cents per day late. By using the same old lie, and not forgetting a pair of beggy eyes, the kakak at the center charged me for RM3 fine in the end. Phew~

And there goes my "Outsation" lies, which I actually only went outstation at Pahang for 5 days during October. Terrible me.

Lesson of the Day: Don't be late and do not procratinate, or your life is gonna suck.

PS: I don't lie, oftenly.

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Peace of Mind

Somehow, a calm sea of mind suits me better.
If tsunami comes, I'm sure be dead as I don't know how to swim after all.
Say no to tsunami of mind.
I don't have a strong heart to take it.
Steady with the waves, and I will be fine.

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How I Met You, Music

Randomness:
There are not many exam papers left in my university life. I'm wondering..in order to record down one of the memories in uni life, how can I manage to snap the scenes in the examination hall? Somebody teach me if you know how.. XD
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因为黑客帮的关系，我决定………
在部落里写下自己如何与音乐&创作相遇。
虽然之前的post里还像有题过，但这次来个长气的。

*Ahem*
因为老爸是个音响发烧友。我从小就听着音乐长大，从交响到摇滚，中文西洋到不懂什么鬼外语，京剧到电影原声带，（我实在不懂要如何分类，太杂了）反正顺他耳的，他都会买回来，坐在沙发上听，一听可以听几粒钟，够力。有时候我觉得很烦，因为没得开电视，晚上还吵着我睡觉，礼拜天早上还会被吵醒。直到对这一切immuned掉后，渐渐习惯了，每晚老爸开音响时，不懂几时开始，我会躺在床上，想象着音乐或歌曲里的画面，想象着里面的故事，直到睡着为止（我想我发白日梦的功力是酱来的）。

第一个念头想要创作，是在中学的时候，发生在有一次冲凉的时候哼起歌儿来，突然很想作那种充满故事的曲子，就像老爸放的那些一样。所以每次冲凉时，我都会自爽哼些不一样的曲子出来。不过，这只有在冲凉时偶然会做得事情，不懂到了几时，就没再这样做了，也不懂几时，创作的念头没再出现过。

Form6时候，因为认识了日本女创作歌手YUI而爱上了吉他。开始拿被哥哥抛弃的classical来玩，上网找YUI的歌来学。那个时候是我玩吉他玩最凶的时候，每天都抱着吉他不放手，还因为手指起水泡玩不到而显掉。虽说玩得凶，可是，也好不到哪里去。

到上了大学，从cari里得知UKM里有音乐团体，呵不错，一定有的学吉他的，跑去KL买了一把百多块的吉他（现在的Bucky），决定要去发奋地学好！过后从纬冰口中知道了新调子这个所谓的“地下室音乐团体”，跑去看了推介礼。那时也不是很会欣赏他们的创作，只是被那band队吸引到罢了，是个可以学吉他的地方，所以就跑去参加了。

不过却莫名其妙地进了制作组，莫名其妙地埃过了NTLP11里的岁月，莫名其妙被选做了下一届的秘书，吓个半死，还在AGM时说错了话，早知道不要去好了。推掉了秘书的职位做理事后，莫名其妙地回去帮忙监督制作组，也因为收歌启事，想要创作的念头回来了。

感谢学长国豪的带动与参考资料，室友Jacinta，UO友Clara和新调子友兼系友俊辉的鼓励，也因为自己肯去尝试，在听收到的歌的当天交了唯一的三首歌。第一首《你说过》是因为看了一部日本电影《恋空》而生出来的，第二首就是Clara帮我唱，莫名其妙而生出来的《青草与肥皂》，第三个孩子…还是不要讲较好，因为自己的无能，被取笑，想起都内疚死了。

也就这样，在NTLP12的期间与过后都尝试着写，直到现在。这就是我如何与创作音乐相遇的故事。创作歌曲，对我来说是个很新，很奇妙的东西。可能是因为创作，有时候能够找到自己。但也时常在创作的时候迷失了自己，实在是矛盾。所以我现在还在寻找着另一个相遇，就是自己的定位。

虽然现在讲到满有创作精神酱，可是不懂以后会不会有那个能耐与努力地去创作。希望进了黑客帮后，能够带给我推动力吧，不过这也要看自己。哈哈，看自己咯，懒人一个。

有件事，让我遗憾到爆的事。就是虽说最初的原因进新调子是为了学吉他，可是！可是！！三年！三年了！！我到现在连一次都没去过吉他班，看都没看过！WTH！可以去撞墙了！！T_T

教训：要珍惜时间。

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Fell Into The Spell

Randomness:
Friends around me have already stepped into the next levels of life. I'm so left behind. Pull me! Cowardice kills!
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I'm have to fall for these kind of little creature -----> Amphibian
Never thought that I will dare to grab hold of these slimy sticky cold blood animals. But it was not as bad as I thought. They are funny little creatures who made me laughed when they were jumping around with their plastic bags. Funny and stupid. XD
And I dare to catch them with my bare hands! *self-admiring*


Awww.. look at him, it's actually very cute!! heh.. >D

Cast me a spell or a love portion on him so that I can concentrate more on my thesis study very well.

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一口气

功课, 论文fieldworks, 考试, 功课, 论文fieldworks, 考试…终于，停了下来， 不然我会死得早。 XD

感谢New Tune收歌启示，感谢Music Camp，感谢越来越靠近的截止日期，感谢身边朋友们马不停蹄得在赶歌，感谢senior们，也感谢自己，我终于肯在这几天忙碌的空隙中把电脑里，新的旧的，好的烂的，断手断脚的，无聊又可笑的，能起鸡皮疙瘩的，非常自恋地喜欢的歌通通挖完出来重听。

经过一段时间的整理，过滤，删除，再三度过滤删除，剩下的有四十多个（不能用“首”，不算是完整的歌），虽然应该好听的并没几个，剩下的却又不舍得删除掉。从中挑了一些来重写，找词，重录。也在同一时间里尝试写新的，最后总共在1st term截止日期交了五首歌（当中两首既然没有配乐器 *叹气* 太难抓chord，放弃）。

虽然才五首，但对我来说，有种一口气的放松了一下，终算对自己做了个交代。总觉得很对不起电脑里的歌们，因为我的无能，没有一个是完整的，但从来都没有要放弃他们，不然早就在recycle bin里人间毁灭lu…

离2nd term截止日期还有一个礼拜，还有一堆功课没做，可以再来几首，要看够不够能了… XP

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New Tune Music Composing Camp

On 19-20th, I went to Bukit Tinggi (Pahang) for New Tune Music Composing Camp with the theme 音乐方程式. The main purpose of the camp is to encourage song writing among newtuners, while the rest purposes are to strengthen relationship between newtuners, to scout talented people in music and to encourage members to perform.

This camp, for me is a success, as I gained something from it. Well. Coincidentally, I was in the process of song-writing. Coincidentally, I met my obstacles and was damn going to give up. Coincidentally, the theme for this camp is about song-writing as well. So coincidentally, due to the camp, it pushed me to face my obstacles and BOOM! There goes again, I'm on my trail once more! ^^ *feeling damn high as I manage to born a full song tonight!*

Back to the topic. I was one of the committees last year, but this year as a senior, I went as a camper. This is my final year, so I really tried to enjoyed the camp very much, and I did, happily. I got the chance to play the games, which I didn't last year. The juniors successfully organized the programme flow well, and I successfully played the games with my full concentration and commitment, that in the end, my group won! Yay! Had so much fun while playing the games with my dear group mates.

My group mates

I got the chance to perform too, unfortunately. Because that was scary! There were to parts of the performance, one is song-writing in which I concentrated more, another is group performance, in which I screwed. I didn't perform well in my part, as I was in super blur condition at that time, sorry dear group mates!!

In the song-writing section, I spent about 4 hours (from 12am to 4am) to produce a simple English song with 2 version of melodies but same lyrics, which written by Sze Pei, my group mate who writes poem. This is my first time to fill in melody based on lyrics. But I finally got the chance to experience the easiness to have a partner to write songs, phew~ How good to have a partner like Sze Pei, too bad she doesn't write Chinese, too bad NT songs are in Chinese mostly.

Thanks to junior Edmund, I managed to get things right with the chords, which killed me hard X( And big thanks to senior Guo Hao for the guitar lesson on how to find chords, which kills me hard too X[ , I seriously need to improve this for my own sake! For about 4.30 in the morning, Sze Pei and I finally done the song. After like 2 hours sleep, we managed to spend a little time to finalize and practice the song with the rest group members. I unfortunately had to show off my lousy guitaring in front of seniors and juniors, Oh My God! Really paiseh for the mistakes!! So in the end, we performed it, and from the review of senior Jian Lee, the song was like a straight line, in short, boring. XD really paiseh, I felt sorry for the lyricist.

One of the most special event of the camp was the talk and performances given by seniors Jian Lee and Guo Hao. I've learn more about writing lyrics, maybe I should just write my own lyrics instead of waiting for the no-response friends, who help me to fill lyrics. I wonder why, perhaps my songs aren't too good for them anyway *sighs* I seriously need to improve more and more.

There is a part from the talk that wet my eyes, that Jian Lee said that we really need to feel appreciate to NT for giving us the chance in song-writing, in performing on stage, to play music, to dance, for the friends, for the moments in uni, for everything. This made me thought of the moments I spent with NT, the moments I left spending with NT, my tear glands just couldn't help it. This is saddening. Maybe it's time for me write a letter to NT, like the one I did to SS, before I forget about it again.

I'm going to write another post on our trip to Colmar Tropicale, French village at Bukit Tinggi. There are 4 days of Raya break I left, OMG!! I still left many things to do, 6 assignments, 3 midsem exams, and songs for NTLP!! Bless me. ^^"

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UKM Pesta Tanglung Carnival 2009

Traditionally, UKM Pesta Tanglung will held a carnival outside UKM every year in September.

This year, they held this event at Dewan Persatuan Hokkien at Kajang.

Being UKM student for 2 years already, I went to this carnival for the very 1st time, and the last time too, as this is my final year. I went there two days, first day went with coursemates Woon Mei, Mei Yong and Ah Tung, and the second day went with New Tuners, who performed in the event.

To attract people, the usual and popular food stalls from Pasar Malam will be seen during such carnivals.

Meat balls that bomb in your mouth~



Lok Lok.



Mei Yong with her food, forgot what's it call..



Fried Chicken, my favourite.



Desserts. And many more..

Besides food, there were others attractions towards kids and adults.



Clown, who said "Yoorrr.. Why take my photooo? Sorry Mr. Clown XD



Who gave out cute balloons to kids only.



捞金鱼.



Beautiful latterns decorations.



Cute stuffs, which sold by my coursemate June's sister.



And I couldn't resist, so I bought these two.

And special for coursemates, June's sister gave me one extra free! Yay! Thanks!! XD

Balloons. And many more..

There are stage performances as well.



For example lion dance, which attracted alot of kids! ^^ but not to me, it was noisy!!



Drums performance from Yu Hua kids, they were so cool!!

In the exhibition section, lattens, traditional chinese cultures can be seen, and I took some photos of them.

Antique camera, I think my dad still got one at home.



Antique clock.



Antique iron.



Antique gramaphone. And, many more...



They have chinese traditional calligraphy show.



Their tools. And again, many more.

The end. I spent these two night happily. Met a lot of friends, who haven't seen for some time. And New Tune performances were a success, the junior singers were good, Siew Suan and Chee Huan, and also the interesting keyboardist Wu Jing. Dance was always good as well! We also had a little so-called farewell dinner with Allan Hoo, a New Tune member who's going to take his degree in German, walao~ German!! Gonna miss this nice guy too.

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A letter to coursemates - "When The Day Comes"

Dear coursemates,

When the day comes, what will happen to us?

Some may continue taking master in university, some may get the chance to work in the same field which we studied, some may work in grape yard(menganggur), some may work in an environment which totally unrelated to what we have studied (this may occured to everyone most probably), some may get married and have kids, some may further studies in overseas, some may continue their family business, some may just goyang kaki at their house, some may just disappear..

No matter what will happen in the future, I will miss everyone a lot! This is one of the level in life, moving ahead and never look back. But when you turn your head over your shoulder, you look at the past, and smile.

However, I wish the day never comes.

Regards,
Tracie

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Greed

Greed, one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Whoa! Well, the greed of mine, isn't that serious as you thought kay? =) The reason I think that I'm greedy, is that I always wanted more. I always have the strong desire of possessing many things or doing different things in one time. Does that sound greedy to you? Or maybe I should say that I have too many wishes! >.<

Here it goes.

I have a desire to get a DSLR. That's because I want to capture all the memories I have. Cehh, lame! Well, it's because I like art so much! I like beautiful things. I want every photos that I took are in best quality, that you can tell the stories behinds those photos, that you can feel the air in the photos.

I have a desire to write great songs. That's because I want my songs to be sung in the next NTLP. Hell no!! I just hope that one day, people will remember me by listening to my songs. I want to be responsible to want I have started! I want to continue the dream that I have since years ago, the day when I was bathing in the shower, humming the melody out of nowhere, and realized that I wanted to make songs like those songs Dad played in the player.

Finally I started this song-writing thingy after being inspired by one of an idol of mine YUI, after meeting New Tune in UKM, after being encouraged by friends and seniors. I made out many melodies. However, I have been given up so many times, that I always walk into the blocks ahead like lame vocal of mine, no lyrics, no chords, roommates are around, melody not nice, not confident.. these blocks are all shit! I'm not talented to do such things, I don't know how to play music instruments good. I'm lack of everything. It's sad when you have to stop in the middle of the way of something, it just couldn't move forward! Maybe I'm not meant to do such thing after all. But yet, I still wanna finish this. Because I have greed.

I have a desire to play guitar well in front of people. It's kinda heart-breaking when I realized that I don't have enough time to learn my guitar already. I have left less than a year of university life now. I feel like wanna cry that I realized that I have wasted two years to learn guitar. Excuses are many, and I'm sick of them. How can I improve my knowledge and skill in such a short period of time, I just can't! Can I turn back time?

So far these are some of the greed I'm having. Some I would like to make them as secret. A friend of mine said that the posts in my blog are fulled of complaints. I think they are. I used the posts to tell people about my unsatisfactory towards the things happening to me. Maybe I should change my way of blogging into a happy and funny blog someday. I want to make my blog interesting. See, am I greedy again?

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I'm officially 23

On 7th September 2009, Monday, I'm officially 23 years old. I don't have much feelings on this. I have received many wishes and greetings from friends and family. Some wishes were quite unique to me, I'm not saying that the wishes others friends gave were not special, they are all meaningful to me.

So, one of my friend said: "大個女啦, can marry already."
Respond: Still young lar, and still single how to marry so fast leh..

One said: "Wish you can write your songs smoothly."
Respond: I really love this wish, thanks Louise.

Another said: "Make your wishes sincerely and they will become true for sure."
Respond: Frankly, I didn't make my wishes really really sincerely and with full concentration in the previous years, no wonder some of my wishes still not yet come true. This time, I made the wishes in full concentration nyahaha.. What wishes? Secret.

Mum said: "Wish my girl have a nice birthday."
Respond: Thanks for giving birth to me Mommy!

and Selangor said: "Today is public holiday."
Respond: It was Nuzul Quran. I have no idea what's it all about.

Thanks for them who had wished and greeted me, and also those who celebrated with me, they are:

Dear coursemate sisters: Woon Mei, Xiao Yi, Wai Bing, Mei Rong and Sheh Na.

Had a wonderful and funny dinner and movie together.

Ex BSMM comrades and dear new roommate: Yan Shiang, Siew Ling, Yong Fen, Pui Yee, Hui Xin, Jimmy, Zhi Xiong and Jia Wen.


















Thanks everyone for the cake and the bunny, Hui Xin.

New Tuners: Jie Ru, Zhi Tatt, Fai, Xiao Yi, Ali, Yi Xin, Edmoon, Siao Zhen, Yee Kuan, and Balia.


















Had a wonderful birthday combo celebration with Yi Xin and Yee Kuan. Thanks for the Japanese doll, it was spooky to me, but I do like it!

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迷失

又下雨，变冷的天气总会让人觉得悲伤，无助。
虽然有温暖的床，躲在被窝了，还是难免感到孤独。
最近好像迷路了，不知道自己在做什么，做了什么。
所做的一切，不懂是为了自己，还是为了别人。
有时很容易迷失了自己，却也很快地再遇见它，然后又再迷失，再遇见。
一切都在重复着，真的有点不行了。
我到底是在做什么……

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Eventssssa!

There are too many to update. I guess I have to skip all the events I've been to in the past few weeks.

28th of July
Jaw-opened at New Tune Intro Night

31st of July-1st of August
Sardine-ed at PIKOM PC Fair

2nd of August
Hot Air Balloon Ride & Flower-viewing at Putrajaya Floria Festival

5-6th of August
Fruit Fest at Lata Jarum Fieldwork

7-9th of August
Part-timing at IMPEX Printing Fair

14th of August
Saliva-drooling at KL Photography Festival

16th of August
Fell in Love with Eason at Eason's Moving on Stage 26

15-19th of August
Emotions at UKM 37th Convocation

These are the best descriptions of the events.

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I am Happy

One sentence can make me smile broadly and jump!!
I'm as light as a helium ballon.
How easily I am to be happy..

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病

从来没试过发烧发到那么严重，连续两天的极端冷热真的要了我的命。

在那一瞬间里，我还真的以为自己快要死去了。
还想着是不是该写下最后的遗言，
打给爸妈的最后一通电话，
抱着吉他弹下最后的一首歌，
真是白痴…

就因为这么一个以为，
这么一个一瞬间的小题大作，
我既然还惊动了凌晨四点在睡觉的朋友晓仪和coursemate意豪，
实在是万分地过意不去。

发烧的第三天，看来渐渐好转了，Thank God!!
只剩咳嗽这死人头，害得我没什么食欲的，难道它不懂吃可是我最爱之一！

接下来的日子，我不要生病了，小病就没什么，已习惯；大病就免了，我还要走更远的路。

病
你走开！！
别靠近我！！
我讨厌你！！

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The 2nd but last Bon Odori 2009?

Last night went to the 33rd Bon Odori 2009 in Shah Alam, organized by the Japan Club of KL, Japanese School of KL and the Embassy of Japan. This is my second time going to the festival, same place, same dance, same food. Just different people, different weather, different situation. The haze there irritated people, so didn't really enjoyed the festival, kept coughing during the festival and now I am sick because of the haze..

I missed out quite many things in this festival, forgot to bring my camera because of rushing, didn't get the chance to capture down the memories there. Forgot to take more fans. Forgot to take pictures with some forum friends. Forgot to dance all the cultural dance.

But it was fun though, with New Tune friends, Weijie, Jieru, Balia, Ali, Fai, and some others friends. And I bumped into Ku and some ex-schoolmates, surprisingly.

This may be the last Bon Odori of mine, which ended up falling sick. Quite disappointing. I shouldn't have expect alot. Happiness always comes when the expectations are not over the reality.

The only picture I took with my handphone, the rest are with friends' camera and handphones.

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I Promise

New strings for my Bucky have been changed after a year.
I will come back for you.
I promise.

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Frozen

Recently, the probability of getting a frozen heart is higher. With a single action or even a single small matter of a person can freeze my heart in a second. Since when my heart is so vulnerable.

Went to Tasik Kejut of UKM for jogging, when is the last time I exercised (besides that one time swimming during 2nd year) in UKM? Oh ya, that was during orientation, that we were forced to do so.

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忘了

忘了如何继续下去

忘了如何去追逐他
忘了如何变得积极
忘了如何抓紧吉他
忘了如何停止拖延
忘了自己现在在哪

忘了

我不要

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It just past again

Half May, June, half July.

There were 2 months gone, together with my time and experience. In this period of internship, I've learn about life in working, life with not much activities, life without not much friends around, life with the elder family, life with low productivity of music, life with the time just past in a blink of an eye.

Again, I'm getting more and more lonely. Doing things alone, was a shit! Life was a routine during internship, and it was damn boring especially during weekends. Once, I went to a jazz festival all by myself, just to eat time and also wanted to charge my batteries of music. It was great! I mean the festival, the music. Though I did made 2 new friends, but that was like nothing, but I appreciated that. Stupidly I think I skipped a chance to know a new guy there too, yea I'm desperate.

Working was as boring as I thought but was enjoyable enough, maybe there was no tension. I spent my internship like breathing, it just past. I didn't put a lot of feelings and emotions toward the people there, but yet I'm gonna miss the moment I had there once I step on the real working life in the future.

I missed my friends, I missed those persons I cherish, really really did. I can't bare the feelings, but I just have to shallow the feelings. Because I couldn't split it out.

I learn to love my families more, day by day they are getting old. I cared about them more. When people get old, they felt more lonely. And I missed my dogs more. One day, I talked about our late dog, Frisk with my brother. Only that time I learn the date he passed away, or being put to sleep. And my sorry and guilty toward him awoke again after since he died 2 years ago. We cried when talking about him. And my bond with brother reattached because of this.

Low productivity of music babies. I lost and regain, lost and regain the rhythms again and again. Starting to lost hope and faith on this because of some reason. Please don't make it stop, it's all depends on me. I have to be strong on this.

My 3rd and final year in UKM started. With a total new environment, new room, new house and roommates. Will my productivity of music getting even lower? I'm not sure. I had closed myself up because of the surroundings. People around keep changing, I couldn't breathe because of this. This year might be very hard to me. My time is lesser now, the day of decision is getting closer, everything is getting closer now. I'm out of time, out of spirit. I don't want another "it just past" for this final year. I want changes. Will it be any?

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爆炸!

实习的第二天，实在是显到爆炸!!一直坐着无所事事，没有人理我，每个人差不多把我当透明般，真是他妈的！无聊又显到爆炸！！实在是够浪费时间，一整天里都在玩UNO，够力吧？真是觉得自己可悲得很。一直在看时钟，希望可以快点到放工的时间。真的很恨那老板，很恨公司里的一些人，简直把我当透明。我一直都不相信种族歧视，不过那班马来人和土族的，真是又够力的！真是希望supervisor可以尽快回来，起码他会看得到我。死人老板，受我做实习生，却不理我也不给allowance！希望这两个月可以赶快过啊!

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LCCT

Here it is, I spent half of a day in LCC Terminal. Sleepy, as I woke up at 4.30am this morning and follow my friend's ride to the terminal, yes, which was free XD. But my ETA is 2.10pm. Holy! That was sure suffering enough. When you are all by yourself in airport, you have the responsibility to take care of all your belongings, never let them get far with you, never leave them with strangers. I brought a big luggage, a handcarry and one backpack and I have to jaga them everywhere I went, even while lining up at McD, even when pooping in toilet, twice, even when curi-curi took a nap, which was unsuccessful, my alertness is over strong that I could't fall asleep even if I hell sleepy.

I continued writing my dark song, looking everywhere to get idea of how to write it, it was halfly done, stuck at the chorus and bridge part! >< and I saw many leng cai XD and I found out that everytime I went to the airport, I always saw alotss of guitarists, carrying their baby around, which was quite cool, they got so many styles, different ones, some stylish, some like nerd XD, some just those malay guitarist like you can see in the TV, some will make me think of artist. I wonder if they are profesional guitarists or what haha!

Going to board now, finally I can shut my eyes in my flight, which is not enjoyable! ><

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Time just pass

I got more than a week to spend before going back to KK for LI. Apparently my time just passed like water without leaving any stain.

Been composing and writing songs, alot of them are uncompleted, but still manage to make 2 or 3 completed.

Been watching moviessss, independent ones which I like always, romance ones, action ones, mystery ones and some japanese drama.

Been learning new songs, and realised I didn't improved much in my skills, I'm still far behind.

Been eating then sitting alot, eating then sleep alot, in which making me fatter, I should have a healthy lifestyle.


Been packing for a long while, as my packing speed was low, I spent 2 days to packing my stuffs out of my room.

I'm going to miss the room, tomorrow I'll leaving this room, ending my 2nd year 2nd semester, starting my 2nd year 3rd semester (industrail training)

Yet, still need some formal outfit for internship.
Still missing home, missing my family and our pet. Another Mother's Day which I'm not around with mum.

Not much special during these few days, going to spend some time with some dear friends in these two days before going back KK.

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