That's all

>> Sunday, February 28, 2010

Tracie: As always, you just can't help it to repeat things which you would feel so regret after that. You just can't help it. Seriously, you don't know how to love yourself man. What the hell are you thinking!

Tracie: It's done. What can I do more with the guts I've got. That's all. That's all!

Tracie: You're hopeless.

Tracie: You're crazy. Cuz you're talking to yourself.

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Imbalance

>> Friday, February 26, 2010

Randomness:
I almost trip over and fell onto the floor hard just because of that 3 seconds of looking up the sky to look at the beautiful moon. What's wrong to stare at breathtaking things huh.

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Okay, WARNING!! I guess this will be a post of complains again. You don't have to read them if you don't want to. I just wanna release some stress.

It's a critical moment for me right now, academically and leisurely.

Academically
1. I need to complete my thesis on time. However, I'm still way far behind. I've been blank by looking at the blank page of the chapters I need to finish even though I've read many journals for that. I have to start typing!

2. Having 4 midsem papers however, I don't have sufficient time to study and I found out it's hard to concentrate recently as there are so many things to think of. Just done one paper tonight, which I think I screwed it up. There are other 3 more papers on next week and I haven't touch them at all.

3. I need to think wisely of what to take and where to take for master degree yet I'm still procrastinating on the applications, only sent one application to UM today.

Leisurely

1. I'm having Choir Concert in next Wednesday. Although it's just very simple that you just have to open your month sing the correct notes with the correct volume at the correct tempo. However, I'm still haven't memorize the lyrics for 2 songs and there is an exam for this on this coming Sunday.


2. The 13th NTLP will be in the following Wednesday after the concert. This is the most precious one and is such a damn tension event that I have to get on some nerves for it. I'm trying not to worry much about it but I just can't help it. The committees are still way far behind and still haven't do correctly what they've been told. But I have to trust them and keep myself away from talking too much. For my part, I need do it without mistakes. Although it's just one song and hell simple, I hope my nerves won't break me and the whole song down. Crossing fingers for the coming whole event.


3. I had not been productive in writing songs lately that I really have no time for that. I'm having my 1st failure on myself for not able to submit the given task on time.


There are no exceptions for all the events and tasks above. I have to finish what I've started and complete what I haven't done. All of them are parts of me, and I'm not able to choose between them. It's even harder to make the priority. I really need to stay focus and do well in every each of them.

This is my final semester of undergraduate in university now, the most important and precious one. If I am going for master, this would not be my last. If I'm not going for Master, I will be stepping into working life soon, and that will be my last. Working seems kinda horrible to me based on the experiences from seniors and bro. It's not that I'm a coward or I'm being irresponsible for my life or what, I know that's what I need to face soon and it's another challenge for me. Just that I'm still not willing to make my life miserable yet. IF it really IS as miserable as described. So before ending my maybe last semester and step into whatever it is, I want it to shine and being spent carefully and wisely.

Done complaining. Now get back to work.

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