It just past again
>> Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Half May, June, half July.
There were 2 months gone, together with my time and experience. In this period of internship, I've learn about life in working, life with not much activities, life without not much friends around, life with the elder family, life with low productivity of music, life with the time just past in a blink of an eye.
Again, I'm getting more and more lonely. Doing things alone, was a shit! Life was a routine during internship, and it was damn boring especially during weekends. Once, I went to a jazz festival all by myself, just to eat time and also wanted to charge my batteries of music. It was great! I mean the festival, the music. Though I did made 2 new friends, but that was like nothing, but I appreciated that. Stupidly I think I skipped a chance to know a new guy there too, yea I'm desperate.
Working was as boring as I thought but was enjoyable enough, maybe there was no tension. I spent my internship like breathing, it just past. I didn't put a lot of feelings and emotions toward the people there, but yet I'm gonna miss the moment I had there once I step on the real working life in the future.
I missed my friends, I missed those persons I cherish, really really did. I can't bare the feelings, but I just have to shallow the feelings. Because I couldn't split it out.
I learn to love my families more, day by day they are getting old. I cared about them more. When people get old, they felt more lonely. And I missed my dogs more. One day, I talked about our late dog, Frisk with my brother. Only that time I learn the date he passed away, or being put to sleep. And my sorry and guilty toward him awoke again after since he died 2 years ago. We cried when talking about him. And my bond with brother reattached because of this.
Low productivity of music babies. I lost and regain, lost and regain the rhythms again and again. Starting to lost hope and faith on this because of some reason. Please don't make it stop, it's all depends on me. I have to be strong on this.
My 3rd and final year in UKM started. With a total new environment, new room, new house and roommates. Will my productivity of music getting even lower? I'm not sure. I had closed myself up because of the surroundings. People around keep changing, I couldn't breathe because of this. This year might be very hard to me. My time is lesser now, the day of decision is getting closer, everything is getting closer now. I'm out of time, out of spirit. I don't want another "it just past" for this final year. I want changes. Will it be any?
There were 2 months gone, together with my time and experience. In this period of internship, I've learn about life in working, life with not much activities, life without not much friends around, life with the elder family, life with low productivity of music, life with the time just past in a blink of an eye.
Again, I'm getting more and more lonely. Doing things alone, was a shit! Life was a routine during internship, and it was damn boring especially during weekends. Once, I went to a jazz festival all by myself, just to eat time and also wanted to charge my batteries of music. It was great! I mean the festival, the music. Though I did made 2 new friends, but that was like nothing, but I appreciated that. Stupidly I think I skipped a chance to know a new guy there too, yea I'm desperate.
Working was as boring as I thought but was enjoyable enough, maybe there was no tension. I spent my internship like breathing, it just past. I didn't put a lot of feelings and emotions toward the people there, but yet I'm gonna miss the moment I had there once I step on the real working life in the future.
I missed my friends, I missed those persons I cherish, really really did. I can't bare the feelings, but I just have to shallow the feelings. Because I couldn't split it out.
I learn to love my families more, day by day they are getting old. I cared about them more. When people get old, they felt more lonely. And I missed my dogs more. One day, I talked about our late dog, Frisk with my brother. Only that time I learn the date he passed away, or being put to sleep. And my sorry and guilty toward him awoke again after since he died 2 years ago. We cried when talking about him. And my bond with brother reattached because of this.
Low productivity of music babies. I lost and regain, lost and regain the rhythms again and again. Starting to lost hope and faith on this because of some reason. Please don't make it stop, it's all depends on me. I have to be strong on this.
My 3rd and final year in UKM started. With a total new environment, new room, new house and roommates. Will my productivity of music getting even lower? I'm not sure. I had closed myself up because of the surroundings. People around keep changing, I couldn't breathe because of this. This year might be very hard to me. My time is lesser now, the day of decision is getting closer, everything is getting closer now. I'm out of time, out of spirit. I don't want another "it just past" for this final year. I want changes. Will it be any?
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