Greed

Greed, one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Whoa! Well, the greed of mine, isn't that serious as you thought kay? =) The reason I think that I'm greedy, is that I always wanted more. I always have the strong desire of possessing many things or doing different things in one time. Does that sound greedy to you? Or maybe I should say that I have too many wishes! >.<

Here it goes.

I have a desire to get a DSLR. That's because I want to capture all the memories I have. Cehh, lame! Well, it's because I like art so much! I like beautiful things. I want every photos that I took are in best quality, that you can tell the stories behinds those photos, that you can feel the air in the photos.

I have a desire to write great songs. That's because I want my songs to be sung in the next NTLP. Hell no!! I just hope that one day, people will remember me by listening to my songs. I want to be responsible to want I have started! I want to continue the dream that I have since years ago, the day when I was bathing in the shower, humming the melody out of nowhere, and realized that I wanted to make songs like those songs Dad played in the player.

Finally I started this song-writing thingy after being inspired by one of an idol of mine YUI, after meeting New Tune in UKM, after being encouraged by friends and seniors. I made out many melodies. However, I have been given up so many times, that I always walk into the blocks ahead like lame vocal of mine, no lyrics, no chords, roommates are around, melody not nice, not confident.. these blocks are all shit! I'm not talented to do such things, I don't know how to play music instruments good. I'm lack of everything. It's sad when you have to stop in the middle of the way of something, it just couldn't move forward! Maybe I'm not meant to do such thing after all. But yet, I still wanna finish this. Because I have greed.

I have a desire to play guitar well in front of people. It's kinda heart-breaking when I realized that I don't have enough time to learn my guitar already. I have left less than a year of university life now. I feel like wanna cry that I realized that I have wasted two years to learn guitar. Excuses are many, and I'm sick of them. How can I improve my knowledge and skill in such a short period of time, I just can't! Can I turn back time?

So far these are some of the greed I'm having. Some I would like to make them as secret. A friend of mine said that the posts in my blog are fulled of complaints. I think they are. I used the posts to tell people about my unsatisfactory towards the things happening to me. Maybe I should change my way of blogging into a happy and funny blog someday. I want to make my blog interesting. See, am I greedy again?